On September 18, the father and mother that expert of countrywide famous family education Mr. Xu Guojing gives Nanjing school of first new father and mother undertook " good parents and child grow together " lecture. After the lecture ends, numerous parent is taking the doubt of family education respect not to wish to leave round Mr. Xu for a long time. To this phenomenon, of an attendant educational expert from the bottom of one's heart plaint: A lot of industries ask to have mount guard card now, alone does father and mother do not need. Every adult has the power of unripe child, but is how many father and mother having again to know those who teach the child?
Can you do father and mother?
The reporter sees in the spot a mother tells Xu anxiously the teacher all over the face, social competition is more and more intense now, we also are facing all sorts of pressure as parents. When our mood is bad, if see the child is on study not aspirant, hard to avoid should chatter. because such, she goes up first the distance of the daughter of 2 and parents is further and further. So that their daughter has refused now,communicate with parents. The daughter classeses are over everyday the door that comes home to shut oneself, there is idler to avoid the big character that take forever on the door. It is very painful to regard a mother as her but be at a loss what to do again. The germ of the another mother anguish beside depends on, she discovers the son often lies, the crammer that has a son a few times is exposed on the spot by her. Did not think of from now on she and son are like stranger. The son is not communicated with her, and she feels the son is lying always also. This mother feels to getting along with the son be at a loss what to do. And the affliction that the father place that another daughter has been an undergraduate tells about more what teacher letting Xu feels parents is taught is important. This father says, his daughter achievement is very good, to let a daughter can have a favorable learning environment, their husband and wife two from the child hind of junior high school is not in the home to watch TV, maintain in the home everyday those who comparative is quiet. The daughter was taken an examination of last year attended a college. This is glad thing originally, but now their husband and wife two how glad also to do not rise. Original, after his daughter attended a college, occupy 8 people the dormitory of a room, because the daughter is flagrant the din in the dormitory, had changed 3 living quarters now, still cannot get along with the classmate of chummery. Now, the daughter had had the sign of depressed disease, do not think reread university even.
Face a variety of quandary of parents, mr. Xu Guojing says frankly, educational child is a comfortable thing anything but. She can send parents 6 words according to her cutting the body: Discovery, sow with communication.
Want to learn to discover above all. Discover the child, discover oneself. Face oneself child, a lot of parents have scared mentality. Scared child learning is bad, scared oneself child makes friend undeserved, scared oneself child does not say true word with parents. Because of fear and insecurity, a wrong mechanism was established in the association between parents and child. On study, parents adopts alluring, intimidate and the strategy that protect overly commonly, in the child hand in friend to go up, parents are adopted again jam dog, the means of minatory guard. Such result can be brought about interior distance is further and further between the child and parents. Parental jumping-off place is good, but the child is moved cannot accept. Lie especially child itself of adolescence is very traitorous. Mr. Xu offers a piece of advice the character that parents should learn to respect the child, respect the child's feeling.
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